5 Questions Guaranteed To Help You Know Yourself Better
When Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project spoke at World Domination Summit this past summer, she said that the key to happiness is to be more of who we are. In order to know who we are, she suggests that we ask ourselves a few key questions. Try writing down your answers to the following questions.
1. Who do you envy and why?
Gretchen says that when someone has something you want, that’s very useful information about who you want to be. Rather than focusing on the negative aspect of envy or the judgment you might put on yourself for feeling that way, focus on being grateful for this additional information about what you value and care about.
2. What do you lie about?
Anything we try to hide is a big red flag. The lie is a disconnect between your behavior and your values.
3. What would you do for fun?
It is a sad fact about happiness that when you say to adults, “What would you do for fun?” many adults are truly mystified. HINT: If you don’t know the answer, answer this- What did you do for fun when you were 10 years old?
4. Are you an abstainer or a moderator?
Think of something you find very tempting- chocolate, cigarettes, sex, alcohol, Cheetos, shopping- whatever.
Gretchen says there are two types of people- abstainers and moderators. To avoid temptation, abstainers have to go cold turkey. They can’t even get started with a bag of potato chips or they’ll eat the whole bag. Moderators, on the other hand, can eat just one square of dark chocolate and be happy, and if they abstain completely, they get totally cranky. Moderators feel rebellious if they’re not allowed to have just a little bit.
Since part of what makes people unhappy is trying to resist temptation, it helps to know whether you’re an abstainer or a moderator. If you know yourself and your own nature- and you OWN it- you’re much better prepared to handle temptation. In other words, just accept your own nature and act accordingly.
5. What’s the nature of your relationship to the expectations of yourself and others?
When you are trying to change a habit, you’re trying to impose an expectation upon yourself. But there are two kinds of expectations- outer expectations (work deadlines, a request from a sweetheart) and inner expectations (what you desire for yourself.)
Gretchen explains that there are 4 categories of expectations: